If this was the 1940s I’d probably be forced to wear a Star of David. Well I suppose my dreadlocks are today’s equivalent, for the police at least.

After work today a few of us went to the bar from work: Paul, Hannah, Ruk, Babac, Dan and myself. We only had a few drinks, after quite a stressful day, and decided to move on. Paul and Hannah went straight home, so the rest of us walked down the street – Ruk and I went into KFC, while Dan and Babac went on to another bar. Walking past the station (on the opposite side of the road) we noticed it was full of cops.

Ruk and I had a nice KFC man. Nasty food really, but it’s good when you’ve been drinking ;D. We were chatting for quite a while – like 45mins.  So we entered the station  and I muttered to Ruk “be prepared to get searched man, I always get searched when they are about” and Ruk mentioned he’d never been searched, which was a surprise to me. Even more of a surprise was the fact that we made it past the cops, onto to the platform. Wow. That’s a first.

It didn’t last long. We stood waiting for a train, when two non-uniform police approached us, very friendly, explaining that we had been acting suspicious and would be searched under section 44 or something (which I believe is the section about how we no longer have any rights, or privacy. Or more formally the ‘Anti-Terrorism act’). I said of course I would agree to the search, but I would like to know what she meant about our acting suspiciously. The female cop then informed me that we had been spotted seeing the police dogs and bolting in another direction. I said that wasn’t us, because we just came from KFC. The male cop then told us he knew, he was behind us. And Ruk realised he remembered the guy from behind us in the queue – madness.  I had a little shocked to be honest, this meant they had followed us from the bar, into KFC, and down into the station. I said “I can’t beleive this, Ruk tell them what I said to you as we entered the station” and the male cop replied “I know, I was right behind you when you came in” … what!? These cops had followed us for a good hour. We had done nothing suspicious. In fact neither of us had actually seen the police dogs lol.

We had to laugh. I mean it was funny! The undercover cops were joined by a couple of uniform cops, who performed the actual search, while the others asked the question. The cop dealing with Ruk asked him for ID, at which point Ruk tried to give him a  Net Communities business card (lmfao), and the police officer pulls out Ruk’s passport from his inside pockets. LOL Ruk you joker! The cop then asks Ruk to take the back off his phone, at which point Ruk was trying to explain that you can’t do that with an iPhone – the hilarity ensues! Apparently they scan IMEI numbers these days. Yet another piece of personal information for their database. Big Brother state or what?

The female undercover cop was actually quite nice. She was chatting to me about my hair and stuff, just idle conversation. But the uniform was too thorough man. He must have been gay – I’ve had many Stop & Searches, but I’ve never had the cops hands going right up my inner thigh, and inside my shoes under my feet (that’s ticklish man, and so wrong!!). They asked if I’d ever been in trouble, to which I replied absolutely not, I gave them my ID and confirmed address. They asked if I’d ever lived anywhere else, and what addresses, to which I replied with 4 of my old address is quick concession. They didn’t bother writing them all down lol. Instead they ask “Have you ever been stopped by us before” … “Of course. Every time there are cops in a station. Must be my hair, or my hair, or maybe my colour?” At this point everyone stopped laughing, and the male uniform cop (the gay one that searched me) got very uncomfortable and moved away, leaving the others to continue. It was like in Austin Powers when someone mentions Dr Evil’s name, and Austin’s face goes from laughing away, to complete utter seriousness. The female cop said something about “or maybe you just look suspicious”, to which I replied ” or maybe it’s all of the above.”

I asked them how many of us were there when we were spotted “bolting away from the police dogs” and they said they were only given the description of us two. So I mentioned it was funny that they weren’t given the descriptions of the two white guys was with. Very funny indeed.

This wasn’t a serious confrontation though. I really did find the whole thing too funny, and most of the cops had a sense of humour – only that male cop got offended by my satire. I mentioned I would be blogging this later, after Ruk said he’s gunna Twitter it, and the female cop asked me for the blog address, hah. I told her “my name, dot com”. The newb said “myname.com?!” lmao. “No, my name… CalvinRobinson, dot com”. As we walked off she was saying “CalvinRobinson.com”, trying to remember it, so if she did, maybe she’ll leave a comment. We tried to get photos of her, but she said no because she wasn’t in uniform. We did get the undercover guy though, and the uniformed cops.

I just can’t believe they followed us that whole time. And I of course it would only be the mixed Black guy and the Asian guy out of the 4, to get stopped.

Babac and Dan even arrived on the platform toward the end of our questioning lol, and they didn’t even get spoken too.

If you’re out and about with me, and you see the police, you might wanna pretend you’re with the white guy behind us, because you will get searched. “Stop & Search that guy… it’s Calvin Robinson!”

In all fairness, I could shave off my dreadlocks, wear a Armani suit, and still get Stop & Searched. I just have one of those faces. You know… brown!