I just spent the night backstage at ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, haha what an adventure. It’s all down to the power of social engineering, infiltration and the gift of blagging it.

The story starts with me meeting my friends Cherelle and Sean at Hammersmith, to be members of the audience for Britain’s Got Talent. I got tickets off once of those audience websites. We got there, and the queue was HUGE. The tickets said there was a 30minute entrance time, then the doors would be locked. We figured anyone not in by then, wouldn’t make it – a first come first served kind of thing. We weren’t prepared to queue down two streets of people, so we obviously tried to jump the queue, but it was too heavily guarded. People everywhere!

We weren’t about to give up though, we came to see a show! We started walking around the next street in the hopes of finding a back entrance. We found it! It was dark tonight, there was no security as far as we could see, so we walked straight up to what looked like a loading-bay, just about to walk up to this door, when someone calls us over to a car. Turns out the steward was sitting in his car, keeping an eye out, since it was too cold outside. He asked me for my pass, so I flashed my student ID. At this point he wanted to know who we were and why we were here. So off the spot I made up some story about us being from Wmin University media department. It went a little something like this;

Me:  We’re here to help out Steve.
Security: Steve who?
Me: Steve from production
Cherelle chips in: Technical Production
Security: Do you know his surname?
Me: Nah. What it is, he contacted our University’s media department asking for volunteers to help out on the set. I’ll just go through and see if I can find him.
*At this point I started walking to the Stage Door, which we now knew was around the other side, due to the traffic of people going in and out.
Security: Nah you can’t go through there, let me ask on the radio.

The guy called for someone to come verify who we were, but nobody with any significance was on his radio frequency, only other lowbie stewards and such. So he stops a guy walking past, who introduces himself as Woody, from Sound. We explained ourselves to Woody, and he knew of two Steve’s in production, but he didn’t know which one we meant (lucky choice of name!) so he tells me I should speak to Dawn, she’s Production Manager so she’ll know what’s going off. He gave me her number, and I gave her a call. I tried to spin her the same story as the other two, but she wasn’t having any of it. She told me she’s extremely busy, she doesn’t want any help. In fact she didn’t tell me, she practically snapped my head off. I told her it had all been pre-arranged between Steve and my Uni, but she said that must have been for a future date, and nothing was happening tonight, she wasn’t interested. So I simply hung up on the sly, and carried on conversing with myself on the phone – for the security guy’s benefit. When I finally came ‘off the phone’ I told him Dawn had said to come on through, and try catch up with Woody, he’d know where I was supposed to go. The security guard must have still been a bit unsure of me, because he called for another security guy on his radio, to get Woody to come back out.

When Woody came out, I explained that Dawn had said I should follow him in, and we could help him out with anything really, we’re just here to be dogs bodies. He wasn’t interested, and gave me the number of Vickie Fox – another important person. Then he went off again, telling me that’s all he could do for me – in a way that says “Please don’t bother me again”. This time I wasn’t going to bother calling up for real, so I pretended to put a couple of calls through, and said she wasn’t picking up. I told the security guard “You know what, I’ll just go on back and see if I can get hold of her, someone back there will be able to help me.” and didn’t wait for confirmation. I had already started walking off and I could still sense his reluctance, so I said “if anything, I’ll just come back to you”, he reluctantly replied “hmm, alright”. And we were in.

Security inside past the stage door was minor. We walked straight down to the basement level and opened a door, not realising it said Dressing Room 1A, only to find Ant right in front of me. I made my apologies, closed the door, and we walked down the opposite corridor. I couldn’t believe I had just opened the door to Ant and Dec’s dressing room, shocking lol. The next corridor was obviously un-used, it looked like the cellar of a pub and it only lead to a fire escape. So we started heading upstairs, and I hung back a little bit, to take a pic of the dressing room door.

It’s at this point that I hear Sean and Cherelle getting caught by someone at the security desk. Shit! There’s no way I was going up there. I grabbed my phone, put it to my ear, and if anyone came down I was going to pretend to be talking to someone important. Then I hear Sean saying “there’s another one of us, downstairs!”… SHIT! SHIT! There’s only one place I could go… Ant and Dec’s dressing room!

I opened the door, strolled through as if it was completely natural to be there. Said “alright guys” to them both (Ant sat down, Dec half asleep on the couch), and walked through the door on the other side of the room. Closing the door behind me, I thought “YES! I made it” quickly followed by “OOOH SHIT!!”. I had only gone and walked into their bathroom. It was like a moment on a TV sketch show, where someone walked into a broom closet, and they face the decision of walking out like an idiot, or staying in there until everyone leaves, hoping noone noticed. Oh my days.

Bravely (at least, I think so) I decided to back walk out, head held high. I said “oh sorry guys, I’m looking for the way up”. Ant replied sharply “well its not in ‘ere mate!” with his strong northern accent. Shit, I’d only gone and pissed off Ant, lol.

On my way up stairs there was no sign on Cherelle or Sean. It’s obvious that the security guys had figured them both for liars when they said there was a 3rd person – it probably seemed like they were just trying to get back downstairs. Walking straight past the security office, I opened a door labelled “Stage Entrance”… and there I was.

Backstage, I stolled over to where the contestants were, and figured things out. All the members of production had blue hoodies on labelled ‘Britains Got Talent’, while all the theatre staff has black jackets on. Someone with a clipboard asked who I was, I replied “I’m with…” and they filled in the dots for me “Oh, you’re with an act?” .. “yes, sure.” lol. So I stood with the acts for a while. Spoke to them, wished them luck, and took a couple of pictures. A little later, someone important looking came over to me and asked who I was, so off the tongue I replied “I’m here to help Woody” … “Oooh, Woody!” she replied, touching my arm as if to say “you’re a friend of a friend, it’s all good”. So I took a picture with her.

I mingled with everyone, taking pics on the sly when I could, watching how things went on, watching the acts, and the judges. I had a ball to be honest.

At one point someone was looking at me funny, then she took her wad of paper, looked through every sheet, each with a photocopy of the acts photos, then finally when she’d gone through them all and not found me, she approached me and asked who I was. “I’m Calvin” … “are you with the theatre” … “yes, sure.” LOL! These people do the work for me.

Another couple members of staff asked me who I was later on, but not many. When they did “I’m with the theatre” just rolled off the tongue. I never really looked out of place though. I just tried to act like I belonged.  I also had my shirt, shoes and overcoat on, not my usual hoody and baggies (more on that in another post), so I looked the part. I think that may have had something to do with why Cherelle and Sean got stopped too, they were in full street gear.

I saw some brilliant acts. My votes are going for the rock-and-roll dancers. Here’s a pic of some cheesy comedians (whos cheesy names are lost on me);

I love Rocky Robin. Probably my favourite Rock and Roll song for to watch performances to.  (I don’t dance, but I grew up watching my sister dance in shows all the time, so I have been known to help out on the odd Rock and Roll dance. Shh – my street cred!).

Some Mexican guy (not being racist, he had on the full attire, hat and all) did a Mexican song. Simon buzzed him off almost instantly. Classic tv moment – unfolding live in front of my eyes xD.

Simon’s entrance was funny tbh. Full entrance-music like a boxer or something, coming down the stairs with his big heft security guard. There’s no wonder though – outside sitting on a bench was one of his stalkers. Apparently she follows him everywhere, and camps out just to see him o_0 , or so the security guards told Cherelle and Sean (while they were waiting outside in the cold for me – ouch!).

I would have loved to stay for the whole show, but eventually I had to head out and find the others, it wasn’t really fair for me to stay for the whole thing. I’d switched my phone onto airport-mode as soon as I got backstage, so I could take photos without the suspicious sound effects of a ringing or vibrating phone. Plus it’s hard to take sly snapshots when you have an incoming call. So I had no idea what those two were upto. Turns out they were just waiting with the original security guy the whole time. We walked off, and ended up going home.

It was hard to get a good photo of Simon Cowell without walking staight onto the stage (you can just make him out, with Samantha and Piers), but I think I got his car, lol.

It was a really good night (for me at least). Got to meet some celebs, watch a live episode of Britains Got Talent, including acts, interviews and the lot, and just generally had a good time =] … Where to next week?

More photos here.